a new year, a new goal

It seems really surreal to me that it is 2014. I look at the calendar and my brain has trouble processing that there aren't two zeros in the year anymore. Yes, I realize it hasn't been that way for a few years not but I was in high school in the double-o years and they seem seared into my mind. So with every year that we get farther away from them, the calendar looks more wrong. I realize that is probably more than a little weird but whatever. Anyway, as I stand at the beginning of another year, I like to make a few goals and take stock of my progress towards my goals of the past year. 

In 2013, my goals were: 

1. Read More 

2. Write More 

3. Save a Little Money

Surprisingly enough, I met all these goals. I read 108 books (40 more than last year and 4 more than my goal). I have thousands of words written on a story that I love. And I have a savings account. It is currently quite small, but it exists. 

In 2014, my goals are:

1. Read Less

2. Write More (aka finish a first draft of G4)

3. Save a Little Money

4. Be Happy

I am really psyched about my goals, especially the new one: be happy. I am firmly in my mid-twenties and I want to enjoy it! 

So, what are you planning to do this year?

Holidays, Nostalgia, and a Distinct Lack of Snow

It is the day before Christmas Eve. Where has 2013 gone? Why am I so utterly unprepared for this holiday? Why is my family still in another state? (These questions could go on a while so I will stop here.)

Today, in his annual tradition, an old school friend of my uncle's hand delivered a poinsettia from his greenhouses to our front door. He has dropped off a poinsettia for my grandmother every year since the beginning of time (aka at least as long as I have been alive). It is very sweet of him and my grandmother loves it. This old school friend of my uncle's also happens to be the father of the guy I made a fool of myself over in high school. (That is a super long and complicated story that you will NEVER hear.)

So when he pulled up today, my mom happened to be outside (seeing as it is unnaturally warm in the snow belt) and they apparently chatted (I can't verify this as I am currently in a different state). One of the updates he shared was that the boy I mentioned is no longer planning to take over the family farm and has decided he has no desire to return to our hometown. I cannot express to you the illogical heart break this causes me. I haven't spoken to this boy since graduation but everyone knew he was going to take over the farm and that our town would forever be his home. It feels cosmically wrong. My brain refuses to accept it. It makes me so sad.

It is thoroughly none of my business what this boy does and for all I know he is incredibly happy. However, there is something deep down in me that can't believe that. I hope that part of me is wrong. I hope that the last 6.5 years have changed him and he's happy. Actually, I hope he hasn't changed at all and just gets a clue before his dad sells the business.

Anyway, that is a really long way of saying that today I am filled with all the high school feels. I miss my best friend. I miss the yearbook room. I miss math homework (yes, I just said that) and advisement with my global history teacher. It doesn't matter that I will be back at that same high school in January as a substitute teacher and musical choreographer. Right now, I want MY high school back with all the people, drama, and ridiculousness that goes with it.

Someone build me a time machine or I'm libel to write myself one.

Happy Holidays!

How is December almost half over?!

I have a sinus infection that makes me feel like there is a horse standing on my face. I also have 2+ feet of snow and cannot get out of my driveway. I've spent most of the past two days on the couch taking Sudafed and vitamin C and trying not to expire. My mom has been awesome and I am so thankful that I got sick while at home with her instead of having to be alone and sick in Ohio. She is the best.

Musical practice for The Wedding Singer has begun. I've had three rehearsals which have all proved incredibly productive. I set a whole number on the first day and the following two rehearsals have allowed me to set 3/4 of another number. I'm so pleasantly surprised.

Life has been a kind of adjustment the past few weeks but I'm handling it. Except that I just realized its less than two weeks until Christmas. So I better get started on gifts.

Thankful Update

It is the day after Thanksgiving. I am still full of food after spending a really enjoyable day with my family at my sister's boyfriend's house. It was the first really formal Thanksgiving my family has done in a while. Normally it is just the four of us so we don't use the fine china or the fancy table cloth. My sister's boyfriend, however, was all about the pomp and circumstance. Like, we had water and wine glasses and there was a single fresh cut rose in the center of each plate. Then we watched It's a Wonderful Life (I LOVE YOU JIMMY STEWART!). It was the kind of Thanksgiving I remember from my childhood when my family was still a little bigger. I loved it.

Also, musical auditions are over for both shows I'm working on this season. I'm running point on The Wedding Singer with my sister's assistance while my sister is heading up Pippin with my backup. Auditions were cool, casting had some setbacks. I am trying to remain excited instead of apprehensive but I'm struggling.

Finally, I haven't touched G4 in over a week. I am stuck in the middle and it is a barren wasteland with no lifelines or avenues of escape. I chatted with the lovely Jenny Adams Perinovic about it and have decided on a change of plan. I was writing this story linearly, from point A to point B because I had events I wanted to happen but was pantsing everything in between. With two musicals and being back in my family home instead of holed up in a big house alone, I am going to be a lot busier soon and being stuck with G4 will mean no progress if I'm already busy. I know myself well enough to know that I won't make time for it. So I am switching paths. I am going to write the scenes I know I want and piece it all together later. Hell, I might even write the end first. But I have a new plan and I'm gonna stick to it!

Five Favorites This Fall

Fall is my favorite time to read. I love reading all the time but when it starts to get cold, there is just something about grabbing a cup of tea and a good book and snuggling under the covers with warm fluffy kitties. Since finishing college - which put a serious damper on my leisure reading - I always read a ton in the fall. Like, I've read 30 books since September 1st. I wanted to share a few of my favorites from the last few months.

1. Paper Towns by John Green 

I read Looking for Alaska and it was good but after this one, I understand why everyone loves John Green. This is accurate yet adventurous coming of age. 

2. The Misfits by James Howe

Middle school is rough but having friends makes it better. I really liked everything about this book. 

3. Love and Other Perishable Items by Laura Buzo

The characters is this are great. Having been the girl with the crush on the inappropriate older guy, Buzo gets it SO right.

4. The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath

This book is eerily easy to relate to. I'm not going to try and explain it. Just read it. 

5. Winter Town by Stephen Emond

If you have friends you only see during certain seasons, you will understand how just a short period of time together can still feel incredibly important. This book might break your heart but it will kind of put it back together again. 

YA for Everyone

I've put 100,000 miles on my car in the last four years. Suffice it to say that I drive a ton. I love driving and have been doing it daily since I got my first car just before I started college. However, every once in a while I get this fleeting moment of memory as I'm driving. It is like for a split second I'm 17 again driving alone in the car for the first time with freedom coursing through my fingers as they grip the wheel. That is the best way I can explain it. That half a moment, that ephemeral instant, is what I want my book to feel like for adults. When non-teenagers read my YA work-in-progress G4, I want it to be a tiny window into the firsts of your adolescence. Is that too much to ask?

NaNoWriMo and Words

I am not doing NaNo.

I have never won NaNo. 

I will probably never win NaNo. 

But I am writing. 

I'm earning stickers instead and it is going ok. It isn't perfectly awesome but it is good words on the page. 

This has been an update.

Also, it is such a perfect autumn day. I want to bottle it and paint my room in it. I want to live in eternal autumn. It makes me wonder how death can be so beautiful.