Holidays, Nostalgia, and a Distinct Lack of Snow

It is the day before Christmas Eve. Where has 2013 gone? Why am I so utterly unprepared for this holiday? Why is my family still in another state? (These questions could go on a while so I will stop here.)

Today, in his annual tradition, an old school friend of my uncle's hand delivered a poinsettia from his greenhouses to our front door. He has dropped off a poinsettia for my grandmother every year since the beginning of time (aka at least as long as I have been alive). It is very sweet of him and my grandmother loves it. This old school friend of my uncle's also happens to be the father of the guy I made a fool of myself over in high school. (That is a super long and complicated story that you will NEVER hear.)

So when he pulled up today, my mom happened to be outside (seeing as it is unnaturally warm in the snow belt) and they apparently chatted (I can't verify this as I am currently in a different state). One of the updates he shared was that the boy I mentioned is no longer planning to take over the family farm and has decided he has no desire to return to our hometown. I cannot express to you the illogical heart break this causes me. I haven't spoken to this boy since graduation but everyone knew he was going to take over the farm and that our town would forever be his home. It feels cosmically wrong. My brain refuses to accept it. It makes me so sad.

It is thoroughly none of my business what this boy does and for all I know he is incredibly happy. However, there is something deep down in me that can't believe that. I hope that part of me is wrong. I hope that the last 6.5 years have changed him and he's happy. Actually, I hope he hasn't changed at all and just gets a clue before his dad sells the business.

Anyway, that is a really long way of saying that today I am filled with all the high school feels. I miss my best friend. I miss the yearbook room. I miss math homework (yes, I just said that) and advisement with my global history teacher. It doesn't matter that I will be back at that same high school in January as a substitute teacher and musical choreographer. Right now, I want MY high school back with all the people, drama, and ridiculousness that goes with it.

Someone build me a time machine or I'm libel to write myself one.

Happy Holidays!

Library Love

One of my seemingly numerous day jobs is a substitute teacher at my former high school. There have been a bunch of changes in the district this year. With major budget cuts last spring, several teachers lost their jobs. A few also retired, including the grumpy old librarian who was essentially a male version of Madame Pince with a handlebar mustache.
The library of my memories as a student, student teacher, and substitute was a brittle and stuffy one. And not in an endearing nostalgic kind of way. More of a I'm going to get thrown out of here breathing too loud, don't you dare bring that water bottle in here, you heathen, you don't deserve to touch books kind of way. Really inviting. Not.
When I was subbing last week (the first time this year because I was in the other state) I passed the library and it was a completely different place. There was a Newberry Honor bulletin board on one side of the door and a collage of the best 100 YA titles to date on the other. Just inside the door, I saw a display table of Halloween themed books for October reading.
Later, I asked a student who the new librarian was and suddenly the world made sense again. The new librarian is the former elementary school librarian. The zany, quirky woman who made library period in grade school awesome.
As a rule I'm not a big fan of change but I am definitely a fan of this.

Musical Family.

You all know musical theatre plays a big role in G4, right? Well, musical theatre played a pretty big role in my own high school existence and I now do choreography for my old high school (this is a blessing and a curse). 

When I was a senior, I adopted a musical little sister. Not everyone does it, at least not formally, but I did. She was the cousin of the lead, far too pretty for her own good, and completely innocent in the ways of musical drama. I already knew her vaguely from working with the elementary school musical. (As I write this, I realize just how big a part of my life musicals were and are. Suddenly I am no longer surprised I am writing a story like G4.) I also had her father as my global history teacher. K, as we'll call her, was just what I needed my senior year when I was full of nostalgia for all my past shows and worried that I would never perform musical theatre again (which I sadly haven't). 

K is in college herself now, a volleyball star at a big ten school where she doesn't really have time for musicals anymore. I haven't talked to her in a while though I keep tabs on her through her cousin (the lead from senior year and also a good friend). Despite writing about a high school musical, I actually hadn't thought about K in a while. 

Then, today, she posted on my Facebook wall. Bam. Social media strikes again. She called me Big Sis, and I was flooded with nostalgia and I missed her. I missed sharing stories and helping her deal with first year issues. I missed coming back to see her in her prime years later. I missed everything about my little sister and our wonderful musical memories. I miss you, K. 

I'm taking the day off from writing because I'm liable to make stupid choices because I'm thinking about my musical life instead of Mirella's.