Tuesday, May 26, 2015

Dark days, dark books

Have you ever thought about what the titles you pick up are trying to tell you about your subconscious? I never really did until a friend of mine pointed out that I had recently read five books about teen suicide/tragic death and was holding IF I STAY by Gayle Forman as I tried to deny the trend. 

Taking stock of my reading habits this winter, when I was in a rough emotional state myself, was eye opening. I mean, I knew dropping off the face of the planet and not speaking to my best friend for six months were bad signs, as was giving myself a stress ulcer and spending 18 hours a day in my old high school. But in reading, I was gravitating toward really dark books when I'm generally a happy go lucky, give me the fluffy lovely stuff, kind of reader. It was illuminating to see my interests so starkly changed based on my mood. 

Two weeks ago, I got hit by another wave of emotional stress but someone once told me that happiness can be a choice so I picked up a happy book instead of a sad one. I've definitely still got some deep thoughts and a big helping of stress but I feel less passive and more aware of myself and my brain.

Sometimes it's important to take stock and make a change. I'm sure I'll be back to read IF I STAY soon but because I'm craving a Gayle Forman story, not because my brain is trying to tell me something. 

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