It's been a while

I can't believe that it's more than half way through March and I haven't posted a new year/old year reflection. But I shouldn't be surprised because I didn't realize I hadn't posted AT ALL since July. Moral of the story: I have no concept of time!

 

So let's do that reflection then, shall we?

 

Last year was HARD. I learned that I am incredibly strong but I do have limits. I can fail without being a failure. I can cry without being weak. Above all, I learned that I- and particularly my mental health- need to be a priority.

 

My job most of last year was soul crushing and so emotionally damaging that I was struggling in ways I couldn't fully talk about or put into words. I just knew that I wasn't okay and I kept telling people that.

 

In June I interviewed for new jobs and took a whole week off to attend the ArtEmotion Adult Ballet Summer Intensive in Salt Lake City. I saw a glimpse of happy me when I was away and dancing and thinking about alternatives. ArtEmotion was incredible full of dancers and teachers and experiences that I could pontificate on for a while but won't. Have a picture instead.

 

I ended up getting one of the new jobs I applied for and it has changed my life. I don't say that to be dramatic but simply because it's true. I've unpacked mountains of ugly baggage about my last job and don't dread a third of daily hours. My students are great, my principal is great, my colleagues are great. It's incredible the daily difference.

 

I know that I was so lucky to have this job and support network when my sister had emergency surgery and almost died in October. And my support from all of my ArtEmotion connections was uplifting as I stepped in you dance a lead role while my sister was still in the hospital. With support I came out stronger instead of broken. BTW my sister has made a full recovery and everything is fine now and we did Nutcracker together in December.

 

 

Last year was supposed to be about balance and in some ways it was. In others it was just about survival.  I hope that 2018 will be about self-care. I need to take care of me first instead of everyone around me.

 

I've already had a few rough emotinal spots this year but I am getting there. I'm figuring it out. And this year will be about me. About learning to say no. About finding what is important to me instead of what everyone else needs. I can do this and I have big plans for it.